Memorial Stones

 During this waiting time, some of the things that have happened were obviously such God-kisses (is that a word?) that I wanted to share them with you.  In the Old Testament the children of God would set up stone memorials.  The first time we see this in the Bible is after the Israelites had finished crossing the river and the LORD told Joshua to choose one man from each tribe, 12 total, and have them pick up 12 stones from the Jordan River.  They each took a stone and carried them over to the camp where they were to stay for the night.  These stones were to serve as a sign among them, so that in the future when their children asked what the stones meant, the people would retell the story of their deliverance.  (Joshua 4:1-9)

Let me share with you some of our stones.

During our fast Stacy ran into an old bible study friend at a farm.  We hadn’t been to this farm in over a year and yet on that night Stacy ran into Bob.  Bob as it turns out was getting ready to go to the Philippines to adopt a sibling group of 4.  At the time they talked we really had felt that God was encouraging us to not be afraid of our age, that God doesn’t have an age limit on parenting.  And when you think of it, Sarah was 90 years old when she had her son!  You see Bob is in his 50’s and they have a million kids! Just kidding, not a million.   Anyhow after we decided to adopt, we got to thinking about Bob and we wondered if perhaps we missed something God wanted to tell us through him.  And so Stacy got hold of Bob and asked him some questions like what countries they’d adopted from, agencies, etc.  We had been having a hard time choosing a country and Bob told us the orphanage their kids just came home from was amazing.  The very best they had seen.  He gave us their website and as a family we checked it out.  I can remember plain as day sitting on the couch, Stacy behind us and looking at this orphanage.  It was amazing!  And we all said, “That is where we want our kids to come from!”  Only you don’t get the choice when you adopt.  When you choose a child from the Special Finding List the orphanage is not shown at first.  And so we prayed.  God knew the desires of our hearts.  The first 3 sibling groups that “fell through” were not from this orphanage.

And then came Micaela and C.J.!  Of course you know already, but they are from the same orphanage as Bob’s kids!!!  Our kids and their kids lived in the same house for a year!  How crazy is that?  These 6 children who were adopted to Americans will now live 5 miles away from each other. 

The day we saw that our precious kids were from the Children’s Shelter of Cebu was an amazing day.  Here we were ready to throw in the towel and then look what God did for us!!!

I want to tell you about Children’s Shelter of Cebu (CSC).  If you are ever looking for a ministry to support, look no further!  This orphanage is run by Christian Americans from Minnesota.  They have a huge presence on social media.  Tons of pictures, video and bloggers.  It takes just a few minutes to see the love of Jesus at this special place.  If you read the posts you will sense the Spirit’s hand on CSC.  These kids, our kids are very much loved.  They make sure they have excellent medical care.  When they could find cheaper doctors and hospitals they choose the best doctors and hospitals for their kids.  When they felt their kids weren’t getting a good enough education outside of the orphanage, they built a school.  It is amazing.  I’m not an expert at orphanages, but I’m telling you this place is special.  http://www.cscshelter.org/

And so one memorial stone is our chance meeting with Bob.  And the second stone is Children’s Shelter of Cebu. 

I mentioned that our daughter’s pictures are everywhere.  We’ve seen video of her singing her ABC’s, eating ice cream from a cup and playing with the kids.  We’ve seen her leading a line of children, kissing her brother, and playing dolls.  She. Is. Amazing.

Being the creepers that we are, we have searched everywhere for pictures of our kids.  The most recent picture we have of C.J. is from June of last year.  As you can imagine that is not good enough for this mama!  Well in searching for our kids, we found a blogger who taught at CSC for a year.  Her name is Lindsay and she has a wonderful blog called A Pinch of Yum.  As we creeped on this strangers blog we found wonderful pictures of the year she and her husband’s spent in the Philippines.  Beautiful pictures of the country, the people, the food, the children and funny, tons of Micaela and a few of C.J.  I’m telling you we were freaking out!!  Her blog was like finding a gold mine!  Do you realize how amazing it is to see multiple pictures of your kids?  My friends who have adopted internationally tell me that you usually get one or two pictures.  That’s it.  So guess what I did?  I emailed Lindsay and introduced myself! J 

What happened next I could have never imagined.  Here I am, a stranger asking her if she would mind sharing pictures of my children.  She also lives in Minnesota and so I told her it would be so much fun to meet when the kids came home.  (I know, I’m a crazy stranger!)    But this is a woman who spent 1 year with my kids!!  From the pictures she took, you could see her love for these kiddos. 

I got a reply within an hour or so.  Monday night Final Four Basketball game and she writes me, sobbing with her friend in the room even!  I like this girl.  She cries because she cares.  Anyhow, she proceeds to tell me that they fell in love with Micaela and when they got back to the states they prayed and sought counsel if they were supposed to adopt Micaela and C.J.  They decided it wasn't the time for them, and so they started praying for their parents who would adopt them.  US!  Are you seeing the crazy to this yet??  She was so blessed that I contacted her.  They never imagined they would ever see these two precious kids again, and now they can and will.  And then she blessed me more and told me about my daughter.

“She is something else, that little girl. So much spunk and character and independence and this incredible little sense of humor. I've never met a child quite like her - she is so much fun.”

I like Lindsay and you will to when you check out her blog.  But don’t go there when you’re hungry.  I warned you! http://pinchofyum.com/

Lindsay is a memorial stone.

Another something extra special came to us just the other night.  C.J.’s medical files are a little contradictory.  One part says he is now running with bare feet and flat sandals, and another part says he is using a walker!  This didn’t go unnoticed and so we requested a video of him walking and running, which we have yet to receive.  CSC puts a new picture up daily on Facebook and last week there was a picture entitled Toddlers Racing.  It was a picture taken from the side, but it look so much like C.J.!!  I couldn’t be 100% sure, but of course I shared the picture with all my friends, and then Stacy and Faith did the same.  Within an hour the picture was gone!  Gone from all of our pages and the CSC Facebook page.  I sort of freaked out wondering if we weren’t supposed to share the pictures, but no one ever told us not to….So I emailed Lindsay quick and asked her if we had done something wrong.  I told her I thought it was C.J.  As it turns out last year CSC made a decision to not publish our children’s pictures on Facebook.  Their birth mom has a difficult time seeing them as it was a very hard decision to make in choosing a better life for them.  By mistake C.J. had made it to Facebook!!! 

That picture, which hopefully I’ll see again soon, is a memorial stone.  Our son is running.  God was just letting us know.  Isn’t he good?

There is a song we used to sing years ago that I sang all day for a couple of days.  It sums it up.

“I stand, I stand in awe of you.  I stand, I stand in awe of you.  Holy God to whom all praise is due, I stand in awe of you.”

These memorial stones are for us.  They are for our children.  For Faith and Abbi, they are proof that we believe God speaks to us.  We believe his plans are for the best, even when it gets scary.  These stones are for Micaela and C.J. and it will be an amazing honor to share with them how God orchestrated all the details.  For Stacy and I, when the going gets tough bringing home kids from hard places, these stones will serve as a reminder that God knew before time what was to happen.  They will remind us that through this journey he was with us and his hand was upon us.

Candie

 

 

 

Introducing Micaela and C.J.

 

 

Let me introduce you to our son and daughter.  It still sounds so weird coming off my tongue to say son.  The daughter we got down.  But did I mention we have a son?!

Ladies first: 

Micaela will be 5 years old in May, 5 days before my 47^th birthday.  Our hope and prayer is to have her by then but it will take a miracle.  (Hey, a mom can ask!)  She looks like she is going to be so much fun!!  Her reports say that she is very smart, can reason well, likes to be in charge, gets along with everyone and she can also give you the silent treatment when she doesn’t want to do what is asked of her.  (Oh boy!)

We have found so many pictures of her on the internet.  The orphanage they are in has a huge presence on social media and Micaela happens to be so photogenic (insert: cute) that we feel like we know her already.  She reminds me of a miniature Abbi. 

Then there’s our son C.J. as they call him.  He turned two in March.  This little guy is a fighter and for that reason we want to give him the name Cayden.  He has been sick every month of his life.  He entered the orphanage at 6 weeks with double pneumonia.  Since then he has had at least one round of antibiotics every month.  He also has some digestive issues and asthma.  (He’s a GAPS kid!)  He also has been delayed developmentally due to Metabolic Myopathy.  However we had his medical files reviewed by the doctors and they are not certain he has this disease.  Their opinion is that we get him home and see how he’s doing, because while we have a lot of information on his health, it’s not very detailed so the doctors couldn’t confirm his diagnosis.  While we are totally prepared to handle this issue if he ends up having it, we have believed that once he’s home things will work themselves out.  As I like to say, “He needs a family, love and good food.”

We don’t have many pictures of C.J. and about the only thing we know of his personality is that because he’s been in isolation with his Aunties often, he likes to be held and he doesn’t like waking up to an empty room.  Faith thinks she has a cuddle bug coming home just for her!

It’s still hard to believe that we have two more children who will be Shipmans!  The other day at church I looked at a couple of our friends, one has a 2 year old boy and the other a daughter the same age as Micaela and it dawned on me: Chubs and CC are coming home with us…and they are never leaving!!!  It was sort of the same feeling I had when we brought Faith home from the hospital.  If I looked too far into the future I’d end up panicked.  I remember seeing 8 year olds and thinking, “Oh my goodness, what will I do with that age?!”  And I realized that it’s much, much better to live one day at a time.

Micaela and C.J. we can’t wait to hug you and love you and see you grow!

A Suprise Email

February 17, 2014 

6:03 p.m.

A surprise email!!!  Typically we have not heard from the Philippines past early afternoon due to the time differences.  Imagine to our surprise when we looked on the phone and saw this:

You were approved by Board!!!!  HOORAY!!!

I should have the official papers in the next few days!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Let the screaming commence!  The news we had been waiting for….FINALLY…..and then we just looked at each other….OH MY GOSH!!! Do you realize what this means???  We are bringing home not one but two littles!!!  Breathe people. 

We drive to Toys R Us just to knock ourselves into reality.  Seriously a bad choice.  First of all, I worked at Toys R Us during the Christmas season in my early twenties.  I still can remember the lines to the back of the store and all the people.  It makes me want to break out in a sweat 20 years later.  Secondly, I never, repeat NEVER took my girls to Toys R Us.  To me it seemed like that was a disaster waiting to happen.  What child could ever make a decision when there are a million choices??!  But here we go…to Toys R Us.  And I thought people got wiser as they aged.

We look at cribs (when did they become so expensive?) and decide that we don’t know if C.J. is in a crib or a toddler bed.  We look at bedding.  No offense boys bedding isn’t very fun!  I start imagining I’m going to have to go to the fabric store….hey, I sewed both girl’s nursery ensembles…..22 and 14 years ago!  We check out car seats, booster seats.  I complain that not all girls like pink.  Could someone please learn that?!  Then we go down the Barbie aisle.  HOLY COW!!!!!  Words can’t even describe….  Lastly, we decide we’d check out the ball section and the blocks.  Stacy finds some really cool Legos.  Having a boy should be interesting! J

After about an hour of browsing we pile into the car and are exhausted.  So much to see.  So many bright lights.  We can hardly believe that we are looking at things for our kids.  Stacy then says what we’ve all been thinking.  “I was expecting us to be looking at these types of things for our grandkids…not our children.”  Ya, so this is our life. 

God, you got this covered, right??

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jer. 29:11

If there was ever a verse to hang onto tonight, this was it. 

 

Checking Email Hourly

January 24^th we receive the following email with a forward from Philippines liaison.

I'm thinking it looks pretty good for you...  ;) Fingers and toes crossed!

 And the liaison said:

 Talked   to  the  Executive  Director  of  CSC,  he told   me  that   he's  done  with  the  review  of  the dossier   and    he  liked   the  family....

Let's  hope   that   they  will  be  included   in  the  agenda  of  the board  meeting   on January  31..

 One week to go!!! The end is in sight!!!

 Philippines is 13 hours ahead of us so on Sunday night the 30^th our family starts praying.  And we wonder how long will it take to get the approval we’ve been waiting for??

But the next day we hear that the Philippines took a holiday!! What?!  With such important items to discuss and lives to change….a holiday??!!  For crying out loud!!!

 On February 4^th we see this lovely in the inbox:

 Hi!  Here is today’s update!  You are on the schedule for Board review on Monday, 2/10.  Sorry for another delay, but hope for good news soon!!!

Are you living what we were going through?  Oh I hope so.  This is adoption.  This is waiting.  When people whine that it takes forever and their life is in limbo….ya, there’s a reason for the whining.

 February 17, 2014:

Sorry- know the wait is probably driving you nuts… I was praying to hear overnight but no email today. I have another email into C*** to see what is going on.  Hope to have news for you tomorrow.

By now I hope you can imagine what the anticipation is doing to the family!  Every stinking time we open our email we anxiously hope for word.  And then hope is dashed.  I know, dramatic.  I remember thinking, “Will I be able to sleep tonight?”  And then I remember that God’s timing is perfect and tomorrow we may not hear a thing!  Or will we??

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Waiting

Waiting.  Still Waiting.  The holidays had pasted.  It was still freezing butt cold outside.  We still hadn’t heard a thing about the siblings, until January 20^th when our agency emailed us the following:

Dear Candie and Stacy-

Happy Monday.  See below.  Sounds VERY PROMISING!  Particularly #3!!!!!  Can you please write up detailed reply and send to me for review?

Thank you!!!!

 ICAB (Inter Country Adoption Board in the Philippines) requested us to write a letter informing them of how we were preparing our children for the potential adoption of siblings, how we would be able to handle the special needs of C.J., and then #3 was related to our immigration paper status.  What was so exciting about that is once ICAB had our reply, we knew by protocol that if they were going to send our file to the board we must have been chosen to be the parents!  The ironic thing about it is that ICAB wanted our reply within 10 days.  So….they take 2 months to get back to us, and we have 10 days?!?  Oh the irony.  And such an exacting picture of the adoption process.  Wait.  Hurry up!  Wait.  Hurry up!!

 We had been told that our file and one other family’s file went to the orphanage for their director and social worker to review.  In the Philippines they have the people who know the children best, choose between two families.  I can’t imagine how hard a job that must be, but I’m very thankful that strangers don’t make such a decision. 

 We were not ready to have a party yet.  Too many siblings had fallen through, and yet we started to get excited and a bit worried.  You see C.J. has a medical issue called Metabolic Myopathy among many other respiratory issues and digestive issues.  He has been on an antibiotic every month of his life, at least once, sometimes twice.  When we had thrown our names in the hat for the kids, we sort of just skimmed over things.  Ok.  Foolish.  But in our defense we had little hope the kids would be ours, and we also knew that from the beginning of time God knew who would be a Shipman.  So really by a whole lot of faith we waited.  And then when it started looking like the kids could be ours….OH BOY….lots of late night combing through all of the medical reports. J  The awesomeness of the situation is that I am a Nutritional Therapist and Certified Gut and Psychology Syndrome (GAPS) Practitioner.  Some of C.J’s issues I really, really understand.  He was meant to be mine.  We also had a feeling that he would be much better health-wise once he was home.   

And so we waited.  This time with a bit more anticipation!

How Bout we Play Catch Up?

They say time flies when you're having fun, but I'm not certain I would classify these past months as "fun".  However, time has flown by and the thing about time is it allows you to look back and see things in the past that you couldn't see while in the then-present.  How's that for a philosophical start?

Adoption is a road of faith, frustration, hope, despair, and a roller coaster of emotions.  At times it has been near exhausting.  If God hadn’t made it abundantly clear we were to adopt, I'm pretty sure we would have quit by now. 

By December I had decided I needed to put myself in an adult “time out”.  You know the signs of needing one?   For me, I found myself not even liking to be around me!  I’m not always a Positive Patty, but I do try to see the bright side of things.  Well I was just Negative Nellie.  People were driving me crazy!  The holidays, I could take or leave.  Even our Christmas tree fell over twice and then died….before Christmas!  Everyone kept asking us what we knew about the adoption.  NOTHING, I wanted to scream!  That’s not nice.  I know.  And so I put myself in a time out.  Besides, who would want to read a blog full of “poor me”?

We had been having off and on conversations with a local birth mom for over 8 months who had 2 daughters.  I had the privilege of having lunch with her and taking Christmas gifts for her family.  Can I just say that buying for people lavishly, who will never give back in return is an awesome thing?  After lunch I knew in my heart that this young lady was not capable of making a good choice for herself or her girls.  And it grieved my heart.  I have always struggled with God about why he allows some people to have babies (over and over) and then why some will do such harm to those children.  I know God is sovereign, but it hurts my heart so. 

The first part of December we requested the files of a sibling group.  A girl who was 4 and her brother who was 21 mos.  We had always said if we were going to get a boy he would have to be under 3.  I mean, what do we know about raising boys??  When Faith saw their pictures she was sold, but honestly we were at the point that we didn’t want to get our hopes up high.  We told our agency to let the Philippines know we were interested in the siblings.  The Philippines response, “Please note that another family have signified their intent to adopt the above- mentioned children. Your agency will be notified once initial assessment has been made.”  Our agency told us not to get our hopes up high, which by this point we were so cynical we said, “No worries.  We aren’t expecting a thing.”  (Bless people who work with prospective adoptive parents!)  This was December 3^rd when we were told another family was interested.  Fast forward to the end of December and we hadn’t heard a peep from the Philippines.  Sure.  No problem.  Just our lives in limbo……

Honestly, by January Stacy was ready to pull the plug on the whole adoption thing.  We had been looking at our finances and thought maybe we should wait a year and get into a better financial spot.  We knew God had called us to adopt, but our eyes were focusing on the tangibles.  Frankly coming up with almost 30K seemed impossible.  I thought we should just wait this out and see if these kids were going to be ours.  Could you imagine pulling the plug to find out the next day you were chosen?  I should also mention that right around Christmas we had major things break in our house.  My laptop, the ice maker/water buttons on the refrigerator, the garbage disposal.  I know I’m forgetting other things, but suffice it to say, Christmas was stressful!!! 

Then we had an insight.  When everything is hitting the fan, it should be a clue that the enemy is working.  And if the enemy is working that means he’s worried.  And so we dug in our heels and said goodbye to 2013.