A Week of Lasts

In seven days we will be meeting our children.  It seem almost surreal.  We have been working towards this day since February 2013.  It has seemed like an eternity but when I count the months, in reality, it hasn't been eternity.  But living each month knowing that one day everything will change seems to stretch time.  While some people like to put off the inevitable I don't.  It's like those that want to wade in the water or those that jump in.  None-the-less tonight I am full of thoughts and wish that I could be I Dream of Jeannie and 'poof' be done with this week and in the Philippines.  (That would be the Jetsons added in my thoughts for transportation!  I always did want to be in those time travelers.)  And yet I digress....

So many times this weekend as we drove around in our mini-van....just the four of us I thought, "This ______ is the last time we will do as a family of four."  The girls tried to get us to go to Starbucks because "it's the last time it's the four of us"!  So while I'd like to be done with this week, on the other hand I am savoring our last days together.  Just the four of us. 

I love my girls.  I love how they have embraced adopting and encouraged us to keep going on this journey.  I love how they are each so different in what they think is the best part of having a new sister and brother.  I love how they've already decided who gets which sibling.  (They may be in for a surprise!)  And I love (in some ways) how they are already talking about more adoptions.  Sweet Abbi, with the heart for the older orphans was reminding us just tonight that we said we'd get an older girl.  While they have to be reminded at times that sacrifices will be made and challenges will be had, they have been 'all in' on this ride.  Their hearts make me proud.  And God.

And so today was our last day at church as a family of four. 

I can get emotional at times (surprised?) but I had no idea how my emotions would overcome me today.  During worship I kept thinking about my new children and how they would stand with us for worship and how brave they are going to be to move to a new country and start a life with strangers.  Keeping my emotions in check was challenging, and then we had prayer time and our pastor announced our leaving on Friday and reality hit.  People came to pray over us for our trip and for our kids.  Seriously, I lost it. 

They say a Girl Scout is always prepared, and I was a Blue Bird (so close enough), but I did NOT have a Kleenex!  HELLO?!?!  Can you say more-than-tears-running-down-my-face?  I asked Faith quietly, "Do you have a tissue?"  My beaver-daughter, always prepared for everything did not have one?!  Say what?  Thankfully a sweet girl looked at me (I'm sure I was a sight) and I mouthed, "I need a tissue!"  Duh....Lo and behold a wad of toilet paper appeared.  Bless her!

We belong to a body that knows adoption.  We are blessed to have crazy friends like ourselves who almost had an empty nest to only adopt and add multiple children to their family.  There have been times in this journey that God's hand has been so evident and today was a shining example of how he has used people to lead the way and come along side us as we walked this road. 

I might sound like a broken record, but I am reminding myself of all of these God-things.  Why, you may ask?  Because I know that while this road has been bumpy, long and had many different turns, THIS has been the easy part.  Adoption is from God there is not a doubt in my mind.  But adoption isn't easy.

My son has spent two years in the orphanage.  At six weeks of age he entered Children's Shelter of Cebu a sick baby.  He has been nurtured and cared for, and CSC is all he knows as home.  He has seen us twice via Skype and looked at our pictures.  And yet in one week, his whole life as he has ever known it will change.  That's hard. 

And so I pray that he will have courage.  He is a fighter, hence the name Cayden.  His life has been filled with sickness.  But I'm praying total healing of his body and total healing of his heart.  I pray that he will know that God's plan for him is great and I pray that he will supernaturally know that he is loved. 

Micaela.  Sweet, spunky, independent Micaela.  My daughter had a rough first 3 years.  She was loved, for sure, but abandonment was her companion.  Trust is something that we will have to earn from her, and so I pray for many ways to prove to her that we will take care of her.  I pray that she will embrace her mom and dad and sisters and she too will supernaturally know she is loved.  This little girl who has a laugh that lights up a room, I pray that she will find many things to laugh at and that God will turn her sorrows into joy. 

This may be a week of  'lasts' but I know a lifetime of 'firsts' is right around the corner.  

Candie

What a Day!

There are some days that I am overcome with the knowing that God is a very good God.  He is always good, it's just that some days I see Him better.  Today has been one of those days.  We have been waiting and waiting to book tickets and get our kids.  Knowing they have had their medical appointments and visa interviews and knowing we are so very close to bringing them home has added extra excitement and a new layer of 'good stress' to our house.

We registered at Target due to the urging of co-workers and friends who want to buy things for our kids.  It was never something we thought of to do and when I stood at the register and put my 'babies' in the system, I think my heart jumped a beat.  Then when we walked the isles and looked at what we needed....oh boy....an overwhelmed feeling hit.  As my girls have been bugging me for months to start shopping for the kids, I was the one who kept saying, "Oh stop.  They just need love and food.  We got this."  HA!  Turns out my Pollyanna attitude (whoever she is) was in denial.  So when we hit the underwear isle and I was in shock because I 'forgot' the kids need underwear, it was then that the realization hit.  We are bringing not one child home but two!!!  Two blessings, for sure, but double the need.  Double pajamas, double shoes, double clothes...... and don't even get me started on the diapers and wipes! :)

Which is why for the past week I have been waking up multiple times at night, thinking of more things we need and all the unknowns that are coming our way.  At 3:00 a.m. I think of my kids in the Philippines and know that their day is 4:00 p.m. and I wonder what they are doing and I pray for them.  At 4:30 a.m. I think of them and pray.....Not sure if God is preparing me for our trip to the Philippines, or if my brain just doesn't want to shut down, but either way, I'm getting extra prayer time and my heart is filling with more love for them. 

Anyhow today.  Let me share about my weaknesses and God's goodness.

I have been tracking airfares for a couple weeks.  We have had a general idea of when we'd be traveling, but nothing official.  We have had some generous donations and grants that gave us most all our travel expenses, but then last night the tickets I'd been eyeing went up $400 per ticket!   I admit it.  I freaked out.  It is so hard not being in control and waiting for other people to decide life altering events.  I knew we had money, but not the extra $1200.  And so I stressed. 

Then we've been trying to get an update on Abbi's passport.  It should have been here 2 weeks ago.  Since we are planning on buying tickets for the 11th, we need that passport.  So Stacy called the government yesterday and today.  Yes, it's in process.  That's all they can say, but they'll have Chicago call us.  No call from them.  Then I called myself (as if I would get farther), for some reason Stacy gets better results normally, and I got the same answer.  2 days, 3 messages left to call us, no response.  The stressor is do we buy her ticket?  Hard to leave the country without a passport!  And so I stressed. 

I could tell Stacy was stressing too.  It's happy stress, but none-the-less stress.  All of a sudden it hit me.  This is warfare.  Satan hates adoption!  Adoption is the perfect picture of Christ's love for us and our free gift he gives us.  Once we choose Jesus we get an eternal family with a new name.  In my head I could reason that enough to tell Stacy, but I still didn't really have peace.  Ever been there?  You know it, you just don't feel it?

And then a sweet kiss from Heaven came.  I got a message from a dear friend who wanted me to know a gift was arriving today,  I'm telling you, I cried.  We call those "happy tears" in our family.  Lo and behold a car seat for Micaela appeared.  This journey has been so humbling.  There are no words that can explain how much our friends have blessed us.  Friends whom we haven't seen or worked with in years are being used by God.  I know they tell us they want to be a part of this call and bless us, but I'm here to say that each time something happens like today, I hear God say, "I got this covered."  I know that God has touched our friends and asked them to do something.  My friend said she heard God say, "Pick something and send it."  And she did!  Car seat straight from God through my friend. 

Composing myself I emailed our agency and tried really hard to be kind.  I know that some of our wait is cultural.  Filipinos are laid back.  There's always tomorrow.  Diana must have heard my desperation (I did mention to her that I've been lacking sleep!) because when she called she gave me the words I'd been wanting to hear....Book your flights!!! 

We've been working with a travel agent who specializes in adoptions.  All of our flights had us flying out of O'Hare in Chicago.  Not a big deal with the exception of Faith.  Faith has to stay home and she will be our chauffeur to and from.  She knows Midway Airport like the back of her hand, but was freaking out about getting to O'Hare.  So we had asked Jeff if there was any possibility to fly out of Midway.  Sure for an extra $2000!!!  What?!?!  Suck it up buttercup...time to learn O'Hare.  I can hear everyone now, "That's mean!"  I agree.  But I don't have a money tree in my backyard.  Sorry.

So today Jeff says he'll see what he can find out of O'Hare and I jump on Orbitz.  Guess what I find???  Flights out of Midway!!!!  And guess what else???  They are cheaper than anything we've every seen!!!!  I email Jeff and ask if he can get those flights?  Yes, ma'am! 

WOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

So in case anyone is missing this, let me explain.  Today we found out we get to travel to the Philippines in 10 days!  We got tickets for less than we'd ever imagined  AND Faith gets to drive to Midway!!!  Is God good or what?!

So I've been chewing on a lot today.  It's this 16" inch connection between my brain and my heart that I've been pondering.  I know God is good.  Hands down, he is the best and only wants good for me.  BUT how many times do I say God is good when things aren't going great?  Friends, I don't want to give the impression that I only praise Him when major things happen.  I think my faith is ever growing.  There are still things that we will face with this adoption that I don't have answers for or have control over.  But God is still good.  No matter how my daughter handles her new mama (me) or how my son's health issues really turn out to be.  God knows.  And I'm just guessing that He has people waiting in the shadows to help when we need it. 

God is good.  All the time.  All the time....God is good.

Candie

A Suprise Blessing While We Wait

It seems like this adoption journey has been a “hurry up and wait” journey.  The Embassy in Manila has our paperwork and we are waiting for the kids to get their medical checkup and interview so that their visas will be issued.  And so we wait.

BUT we had the biggest surprise and blessing yet.  We received a video of our sweet Micaela and Cayden!  Oh how I wish I could show all of you this package of love, but I can’t. L  Instead, I’ll describe the beautifulness of these 3 minutes!

The video starts with Cayden staring into the camera.  You know how kids like to get right up to a video camera?  Holy Cow!!  My son has the biggest brown eyes.  I just melted when I saw him.  Then he says, “Mommy.  Daddy.” The camera pans to Micaela and as she is swinging she says, “Hi Mom and Daddy.  How are you?”  Yep.  Dying now.

Before I go any farther you need to know that videos are not the usual standard procedure when it comes to adopting.  Cayden’s medical records had some conflicting information and so our doctors thought it would be a good idea to see him walking.  Because he has been diagnosed with Metabolic Myopathy, while not life threatening, anything related to his muscles can be affected.  When he was very little he couldn’t hold his head up for more than 10-15 minutes and he was slow to roll over and walk.  Part of his records said that he was running and walking with flat shoes and bare feet, however the most recent doctor’s report in January said that he was using a walker.  Just a tiny bit confusing!

So back to the video.

Cayden clearly loves to dance, and the boy has moves.  He danced around for quite some time while holding onto a bottle of bubbles.  Funny that Abbi found the biggest bubble blower at Target months ago and wanted to buy it for the kids.  I told her to wait.  Guess we may be taking a trip to Target soon!  Cayden also likes to play basketball.  He has pretty good dribbling skills for a two year old.  At one point he looks at the full size basketball hoop and then it’s as if he says, “Naw…too big!”  So he finds a puddle to dribble in.  Ha!  Boys!!

Let’s see, what else….Micaela is an extra in this video but I can tell she is a protective big sister.  Twice in the video she is hugging Cayden from the back.  Because we’ve seen so many pictures and videos of Micaela we have a pretty good idea what her personality is like and it was clear she was a little embarrassed by the attention they were getting.   One of the sweetest parts of the video is when Micaela and Cayden are swinging side by side and sing a song together.  Their little Cebuano voices are so sweet. 

Oh people!  These two are precious!

Just last week we received an updated report on Cayden’s therapies.  Cayden had been having physical therapy and occupational therapy.  He now is at appropriate age milestones so they have discontinued PT.  However, it was noted that he has low mouth muscle tone and is now receiving speech therapy.  I am so blessed to have my children in an orphanage that gives good care.  To my eye it does look like Cayden will need some more physical therapy.  He appears to have some limb weaknesses and his foot turns out when he walks at times.  Clearly the Aunties are used to his imbalance because at one point they have their hands ready to catch him, should he fall.  Seeing these issues gave me a little feeling of panic.  Not like we didn’t know this, our son will need some medical help.  But like everything, we have put our trust in God and believe he chose Cayden to be our son.  And so we will cross that bridge when we get there.  In the mean time we will continue to pray for healing to his body. 

And wait.  Did I mention we are waiting?!

Candie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I-800 Approved!!!!

It's been an exciting week here.  Monday we received the piece of mail we've been waiting for...Micaela and Cayden's  I-800's have been approved!  Our kids have official permission to come to the United States of America!!

Then last night we had the sweetest surprise ever.  A picture of our son!  I know I've mentioned before, but we've hardly seen any pictures of him, so when he appeared on our screen I just stared and stared.  He looks so much older.  I said to Stacy, "Are you sure that's Cayden?"  He even has a big boy hair cut.  And he looks much healthier too!

Today I keep wondering what he's going to be like?

As if that wasn't exciting enough, this morning we were informed that the National Visa Center has forwarded the kids' approval to the Embassy in Manila.  This means that they will have their medical visit and the paperwork for their visas will begin.  If you ask me, this should take 2 weeks maximum.  Ha, but it's a government entity....SO it could be a month or two to get that done.  :( 

Micaela's birthday is in 20 days people.  Move it!!

I'm not sure if it's my age, or if I'm still in shock that I have two precious kids coming home, but I know I need to start getting things ready for them.  Like plastic plates, and small utensils, and clothes, and book, and toys, and..... well you get the picture.  I need to get moving.  Instead I keep looking at their pictures.  And imagining what in the world will it be like to go to their home, say hello, then bring them home?  I know for every adoption it looks different.  For every child they handle things in their own way.  I have no idea if my kids will roll with life or come kicking and screaming.

What I do know is that right now God is growing a love in my heart for my son and daughter.  He had this planned out from the beginning of time.  All the things I 'need' to do are extras.  What my children need is a family.  Our family. 

Candie

Memorial Stones

 During this waiting time, some of the things that have happened were obviously such God-kisses (is that a word?) that I wanted to share them with you.  In the Old Testament the children of God would set up stone memorials.  The first time we see this in the Bible is after the Israelites had finished crossing the river and the LORD told Joshua to choose one man from each tribe, 12 total, and have them pick up 12 stones from the Jordan River.  They each took a stone and carried them over to the camp where they were to stay for the night.  These stones were to serve as a sign among them, so that in the future when their children asked what the stones meant, the people would retell the story of their deliverance.  (Joshua 4:1-9)

Let me share with you some of our stones.

During our fast Stacy ran into an old bible study friend at a farm.  We hadn’t been to this farm in over a year and yet on that night Stacy ran into Bob.  Bob as it turns out was getting ready to go to the Philippines to adopt a sibling group of 4.  At the time they talked we really had felt that God was encouraging us to not be afraid of our age, that God doesn’t have an age limit on parenting.  And when you think of it, Sarah was 90 years old when she had her son!  You see Bob is in his 50’s and they have a million kids! Just kidding, not a million.   Anyhow after we decided to adopt, we got to thinking about Bob and we wondered if perhaps we missed something God wanted to tell us through him.  And so Stacy got hold of Bob and asked him some questions like what countries they’d adopted from, agencies, etc.  We had been having a hard time choosing a country and Bob told us the orphanage their kids just came home from was amazing.  The very best they had seen.  He gave us their website and as a family we checked it out.  I can remember plain as day sitting on the couch, Stacy behind us and looking at this orphanage.  It was amazing!  And we all said, “That is where we want our kids to come from!”  Only you don’t get the choice when you adopt.  When you choose a child from the Special Finding List the orphanage is not shown at first.  And so we prayed.  God knew the desires of our hearts.  The first 3 sibling groups that “fell through” were not from this orphanage.

And then came Micaela and C.J.!  Of course you know already, but they are from the same orphanage as Bob’s kids!!!  Our kids and their kids lived in the same house for a year!  How crazy is that?  These 6 children who were adopted to Americans will now live 5 miles away from each other. 

The day we saw that our precious kids were from the Children’s Shelter of Cebu was an amazing day.  Here we were ready to throw in the towel and then look what God did for us!!!

I want to tell you about Children’s Shelter of Cebu (CSC).  If you are ever looking for a ministry to support, look no further!  This orphanage is run by Christian Americans from Minnesota.  They have a huge presence on social media.  Tons of pictures, video and bloggers.  It takes just a few minutes to see the love of Jesus at this special place.  If you read the posts you will sense the Spirit’s hand on CSC.  These kids, our kids are very much loved.  They make sure they have excellent medical care.  When they could find cheaper doctors and hospitals they choose the best doctors and hospitals for their kids.  When they felt their kids weren’t getting a good enough education outside of the orphanage, they built a school.  It is amazing.  I’m not an expert at orphanages, but I’m telling you this place is special.  http://www.cscshelter.org/

And so one memorial stone is our chance meeting with Bob.  And the second stone is Children’s Shelter of Cebu. 

I mentioned that our daughter’s pictures are everywhere.  We’ve seen video of her singing her ABC’s, eating ice cream from a cup and playing with the kids.  We’ve seen her leading a line of children, kissing her brother, and playing dolls.  She. Is. Amazing.

Being the creepers that we are, we have searched everywhere for pictures of our kids.  The most recent picture we have of C.J. is from June of last year.  As you can imagine that is not good enough for this mama!  Well in searching for our kids, we found a blogger who taught at CSC for a year.  Her name is Lindsay and she has a wonderful blog called A Pinch of Yum.  As we creeped on this strangers blog we found wonderful pictures of the year she and her husband’s spent in the Philippines.  Beautiful pictures of the country, the people, the food, the children and funny, tons of Micaela and a few of C.J.  I’m telling you we were freaking out!!  Her blog was like finding a gold mine!  Do you realize how amazing it is to see multiple pictures of your kids?  My friends who have adopted internationally tell me that you usually get one or two pictures.  That’s it.  So guess what I did?  I emailed Lindsay and introduced myself! J 

What happened next I could have never imagined.  Here I am, a stranger asking her if she would mind sharing pictures of my children.  She also lives in Minnesota and so I told her it would be so much fun to meet when the kids came home.  (I know, I’m a crazy stranger!)    But this is a woman who spent 1 year with my kids!!  From the pictures she took, you could see her love for these kiddos. 

I got a reply within an hour or so.  Monday night Final Four Basketball game and she writes me, sobbing with her friend in the room even!  I like this girl.  She cries because she cares.  Anyhow, she proceeds to tell me that they fell in love with Micaela and when they got back to the states they prayed and sought counsel if they were supposed to adopt Micaela and C.J.  They decided it wasn't the time for them, and so they started praying for their parents who would adopt them.  US!  Are you seeing the crazy to this yet??  She was so blessed that I contacted her.  They never imagined they would ever see these two precious kids again, and now they can and will.  And then she blessed me more and told me about my daughter.

“She is something else, that little girl. So much spunk and character and independence and this incredible little sense of humor. I've never met a child quite like her - she is so much fun.”

I like Lindsay and you will to when you check out her blog.  But don’t go there when you’re hungry.  I warned you! http://pinchofyum.com/

Lindsay is a memorial stone.

Another something extra special came to us just the other night.  C.J.’s medical files are a little contradictory.  One part says he is now running with bare feet and flat sandals, and another part says he is using a walker!  This didn’t go unnoticed and so we requested a video of him walking and running, which we have yet to receive.  CSC puts a new picture up daily on Facebook and last week there was a picture entitled Toddlers Racing.  It was a picture taken from the side, but it look so much like C.J.!!  I couldn’t be 100% sure, but of course I shared the picture with all my friends, and then Stacy and Faith did the same.  Within an hour the picture was gone!  Gone from all of our pages and the CSC Facebook page.  I sort of freaked out wondering if we weren’t supposed to share the pictures, but no one ever told us not to….So I emailed Lindsay quick and asked her if we had done something wrong.  I told her I thought it was C.J.  As it turns out last year CSC made a decision to not publish our children’s pictures on Facebook.  Their birth mom has a difficult time seeing them as it was a very hard decision to make in choosing a better life for them.  By mistake C.J. had made it to Facebook!!! 

That picture, which hopefully I’ll see again soon, is a memorial stone.  Our son is running.  God was just letting us know.  Isn’t he good?

There is a song we used to sing years ago that I sang all day for a couple of days.  It sums it up.

“I stand, I stand in awe of you.  I stand, I stand in awe of you.  Holy God to whom all praise is due, I stand in awe of you.”

These memorial stones are for us.  They are for our children.  For Faith and Abbi, they are proof that we believe God speaks to us.  We believe his plans are for the best, even when it gets scary.  These stones are for Micaela and C.J. and it will be an amazing honor to share with them how God orchestrated all the details.  For Stacy and I, when the going gets tough bringing home kids from hard places, these stones will serve as a reminder that God knew before time what was to happen.  They will remind us that through this journey he was with us and his hand was upon us.

Candie

 

 

 

Introducing Micaela and C.J.

 

 

Let me introduce you to our son and daughter.  It still sounds so weird coming off my tongue to say son.  The daughter we got down.  But did I mention we have a son?!

Ladies first: 

Micaela will be 5 years old in May, 5 days before my 47^th birthday.  Our hope and prayer is to have her by then but it will take a miracle.  (Hey, a mom can ask!)  She looks like she is going to be so much fun!!  Her reports say that she is very smart, can reason well, likes to be in charge, gets along with everyone and she can also give you the silent treatment when she doesn’t want to do what is asked of her.  (Oh boy!)

We have found so many pictures of her on the internet.  The orphanage they are in has a huge presence on social media and Micaela happens to be so photogenic (insert: cute) that we feel like we know her already.  She reminds me of a miniature Abbi. 

Then there’s our son C.J. as they call him.  He turned two in March.  This little guy is a fighter and for that reason we want to give him the name Cayden.  He has been sick every month of his life.  He entered the orphanage at 6 weeks with double pneumonia.  Since then he has had at least one round of antibiotics every month.  He also has some digestive issues and asthma.  (He’s a GAPS kid!)  He also has been delayed developmentally due to Metabolic Myopathy.  However we had his medical files reviewed by the doctors and they are not certain he has this disease.  Their opinion is that we get him home and see how he’s doing, because while we have a lot of information on his health, it’s not very detailed so the doctors couldn’t confirm his diagnosis.  While we are totally prepared to handle this issue if he ends up having it, we have believed that once he’s home things will work themselves out.  As I like to say, “He needs a family, love and good food.”

We don’t have many pictures of C.J. and about the only thing we know of his personality is that because he’s been in isolation with his Aunties often, he likes to be held and he doesn’t like waking up to an empty room.  Faith thinks she has a cuddle bug coming home just for her!

It’s still hard to believe that we have two more children who will be Shipmans!  The other day at church I looked at a couple of our friends, one has a 2 year old boy and the other a daughter the same age as Micaela and it dawned on me: Chubs and CC are coming home with us…and they are never leaving!!!  It was sort of the same feeling I had when we brought Faith home from the hospital.  If I looked too far into the future I’d end up panicked.  I remember seeing 8 year olds and thinking, “Oh my goodness, what will I do with that age?!”  And I realized that it’s much, much better to live one day at a time.

Micaela and C.J. we can’t wait to hug you and love you and see you grow!

A Suprise Email

February 17, 2014 

6:03 p.m.

A surprise email!!!  Typically we have not heard from the Philippines past early afternoon due to the time differences.  Imagine to our surprise when we looked on the phone and saw this:

You were approved by Board!!!!  HOORAY!!!

I should have the official papers in the next few days!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Let the screaming commence!  The news we had been waiting for….FINALLY…..and then we just looked at each other….OH MY GOSH!!! Do you realize what this means???  We are bringing home not one but two littles!!!  Breathe people. 

We drive to Toys R Us just to knock ourselves into reality.  Seriously a bad choice.  First of all, I worked at Toys R Us during the Christmas season in my early twenties.  I still can remember the lines to the back of the store and all the people.  It makes me want to break out in a sweat 20 years later.  Secondly, I never, repeat NEVER took my girls to Toys R Us.  To me it seemed like that was a disaster waiting to happen.  What child could ever make a decision when there are a million choices??!  But here we go…to Toys R Us.  And I thought people got wiser as they aged.

We look at cribs (when did they become so expensive?) and decide that we don’t know if C.J. is in a crib or a toddler bed.  We look at bedding.  No offense boys bedding isn’t very fun!  I start imagining I’m going to have to go to the fabric store….hey, I sewed both girl’s nursery ensembles…..22 and 14 years ago!  We check out car seats, booster seats.  I complain that not all girls like pink.  Could someone please learn that?!  Then we go down the Barbie aisle.  HOLY COW!!!!!  Words can’t even describe….  Lastly, we decide we’d check out the ball section and the blocks.  Stacy finds some really cool Legos.  Having a boy should be interesting! J

After about an hour of browsing we pile into the car and are exhausted.  So much to see.  So many bright lights.  We can hardly believe that we are looking at things for our kids.  Stacy then says what we’ve all been thinking.  “I was expecting us to be looking at these types of things for our grandkids…not our children.”  Ya, so this is our life. 

God, you got this covered, right??

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jer. 29:11

If there was ever a verse to hang onto tonight, this was it. 

 

Checking Email Hourly

January 24^th we receive the following email with a forward from Philippines liaison.

I'm thinking it looks pretty good for you...  ;) Fingers and toes crossed!

 And the liaison said:

 Talked   to  the  Executive  Director  of  CSC,  he told   me  that   he's  done  with  the  review  of  the dossier   and    he  liked   the  family....

Let's  hope   that   they  will  be  included   in  the  agenda  of  the board  meeting   on January  31..

 One week to go!!! The end is in sight!!!

 Philippines is 13 hours ahead of us so on Sunday night the 30^th our family starts praying.  And we wonder how long will it take to get the approval we’ve been waiting for??

But the next day we hear that the Philippines took a holiday!! What?!  With such important items to discuss and lives to change….a holiday??!!  For crying out loud!!!

 On February 4^th we see this lovely in the inbox:

 Hi!  Here is today’s update!  You are on the schedule for Board review on Monday, 2/10.  Sorry for another delay, but hope for good news soon!!!

Are you living what we were going through?  Oh I hope so.  This is adoption.  This is waiting.  When people whine that it takes forever and their life is in limbo….ya, there’s a reason for the whining.

 February 17, 2014:

Sorry- know the wait is probably driving you nuts… I was praying to hear overnight but no email today. I have another email into C*** to see what is going on.  Hope to have news for you tomorrow.

By now I hope you can imagine what the anticipation is doing to the family!  Every stinking time we open our email we anxiously hope for word.  And then hope is dashed.  I know, dramatic.  I remember thinking, “Will I be able to sleep tonight?”  And then I remember that God’s timing is perfect and tomorrow we may not hear a thing!  Or will we??

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Waiting

Waiting.  Still Waiting.  The holidays had pasted.  It was still freezing butt cold outside.  We still hadn’t heard a thing about the siblings, until January 20^th when our agency emailed us the following:

Dear Candie and Stacy-

Happy Monday.  See below.  Sounds VERY PROMISING!  Particularly #3!!!!!  Can you please write up detailed reply and send to me for review?

Thank you!!!!

 ICAB (Inter Country Adoption Board in the Philippines) requested us to write a letter informing them of how we were preparing our children for the potential adoption of siblings, how we would be able to handle the special needs of C.J., and then #3 was related to our immigration paper status.  What was so exciting about that is once ICAB had our reply, we knew by protocol that if they were going to send our file to the board we must have been chosen to be the parents!  The ironic thing about it is that ICAB wanted our reply within 10 days.  So….they take 2 months to get back to us, and we have 10 days?!?  Oh the irony.  And such an exacting picture of the adoption process.  Wait.  Hurry up!  Wait.  Hurry up!!

 We had been told that our file and one other family’s file went to the orphanage for their director and social worker to review.  In the Philippines they have the people who know the children best, choose between two families.  I can’t imagine how hard a job that must be, but I’m very thankful that strangers don’t make such a decision. 

 We were not ready to have a party yet.  Too many siblings had fallen through, and yet we started to get excited and a bit worried.  You see C.J. has a medical issue called Metabolic Myopathy among many other respiratory issues and digestive issues.  He has been on an antibiotic every month of his life, at least once, sometimes twice.  When we had thrown our names in the hat for the kids, we sort of just skimmed over things.  Ok.  Foolish.  But in our defense we had little hope the kids would be ours, and we also knew that from the beginning of time God knew who would be a Shipman.  So really by a whole lot of faith we waited.  And then when it started looking like the kids could be ours….OH BOY….lots of late night combing through all of the medical reports. J  The awesomeness of the situation is that I am a Nutritional Therapist and Certified Gut and Psychology Syndrome (GAPS) Practitioner.  Some of C.J’s issues I really, really understand.  He was meant to be mine.  We also had a feeling that he would be much better health-wise once he was home.   

And so we waited.  This time with a bit more anticipation!

How Bout we Play Catch Up?

They say time flies when you're having fun, but I'm not certain I would classify these past months as "fun".  However, time has flown by and the thing about time is it allows you to look back and see things in the past that you couldn't see while in the then-present.  How's that for a philosophical start?

Adoption is a road of faith, frustration, hope, despair, and a roller coaster of emotions.  At times it has been near exhausting.  If God hadn’t made it abundantly clear we were to adopt, I'm pretty sure we would have quit by now. 

By December I had decided I needed to put myself in an adult “time out”.  You know the signs of needing one?   For me, I found myself not even liking to be around me!  I’m not always a Positive Patty, but I do try to see the bright side of things.  Well I was just Negative Nellie.  People were driving me crazy!  The holidays, I could take or leave.  Even our Christmas tree fell over twice and then died….before Christmas!  Everyone kept asking us what we knew about the adoption.  NOTHING, I wanted to scream!  That’s not nice.  I know.  And so I put myself in a time out.  Besides, who would want to read a blog full of “poor me”?

We had been having off and on conversations with a local birth mom for over 8 months who had 2 daughters.  I had the privilege of having lunch with her and taking Christmas gifts for her family.  Can I just say that buying for people lavishly, who will never give back in return is an awesome thing?  After lunch I knew in my heart that this young lady was not capable of making a good choice for herself or her girls.  And it grieved my heart.  I have always struggled with God about why he allows some people to have babies (over and over) and then why some will do such harm to those children.  I know God is sovereign, but it hurts my heart so. 

The first part of December we requested the files of a sibling group.  A girl who was 4 and her brother who was 21 mos.  We had always said if we were going to get a boy he would have to be under 3.  I mean, what do we know about raising boys??  When Faith saw their pictures she was sold, but honestly we were at the point that we didn’t want to get our hopes up high.  We told our agency to let the Philippines know we were interested in the siblings.  The Philippines response, “Please note that another family have signified their intent to adopt the above- mentioned children. Your agency will be notified once initial assessment has been made.”  Our agency told us not to get our hopes up high, which by this point we were so cynical we said, “No worries.  We aren’t expecting a thing.”  (Bless people who work with prospective adoptive parents!)  This was December 3^rd when we were told another family was interested.  Fast forward to the end of December and we hadn’t heard a peep from the Philippines.  Sure.  No problem.  Just our lives in limbo……

Honestly, by January Stacy was ready to pull the plug on the whole adoption thing.  We had been looking at our finances and thought maybe we should wait a year and get into a better financial spot.  We knew God had called us to adopt, but our eyes were focusing on the tangibles.  Frankly coming up with almost 30K seemed impossible.  I thought we should just wait this out and see if these kids were going to be ours.  Could you imagine pulling the plug to find out the next day you were chosen?  I should also mention that right around Christmas we had major things break in our house.  My laptop, the ice maker/water buttons on the refrigerator, the garbage disposal.  I know I’m forgetting other things, but suffice it to say, Christmas was stressful!!! 

Then we had an insight.  When everything is hitting the fan, it should be a clue that the enemy is working.  And if the enemy is working that means he’s worried.  And so we dug in our heels and said goodbye to 2013.