In seven days we will be meeting our children. It seem almost surreal. We have been working towards this day since February 2013. It has seemed like an eternity but when I count the months, in reality, it hasn't been eternity. But living each month knowing that one day everything will change seems to stretch time. While some people like to put off the inevitable I don't. It's like those that want to wade in the water or those that jump in. None-the-less tonight I am full of thoughts and wish that I could be I Dream of Jeannie and 'poof' be done with this week and in the Philippines. (That would be the Jetsons added in my thoughts for transportation! I always did want to be in those time travelers.) And yet I digress....
So many times this weekend as we drove around in our mini-van....just the four of us I thought, "This ______ is the last time we will do as a family of four." The girls tried to get us to go to Starbucks because "it's the last time it's the four of us"! So while I'd like to be done with this week, on the other hand I am savoring our last days together. Just the four of us.
I love my girls. I love how they have embraced adopting and encouraged us to keep going on this journey. I love how they are each so different in what they think is the best part of having a new sister and brother. I love how they've already decided who gets which sibling. (They may be in for a surprise!) And I love (in some ways) how they are already talking about more adoptions. Sweet Abbi, with the heart for the older orphans was reminding us just tonight that we said we'd get an older girl. While they have to be reminded at times that sacrifices will be made and challenges will be had, they have been 'all in' on this ride. Their hearts make me proud. And God.
And so today was our last day at church as a family of four.
I can get emotional at times (surprised?) but I had no idea how my emotions would overcome me today. During worship I kept thinking about my new children and how they would stand with us for worship and how brave they are going to be to move to a new country and start a life with strangers. Keeping my emotions in check was challenging, and then we had prayer time and our pastor announced our leaving on Friday and reality hit. People came to pray over us for our trip and for our kids. Seriously, I lost it.
They say a Girl Scout is always prepared, and I was a Blue Bird (so close enough), but I did NOT have a Kleenex! HELLO?!?! Can you say more-than-tears-running-down-my-face? I asked Faith quietly, "Do you have a tissue?" My beaver-daughter, always prepared for everything did not have one?! Say what? Thankfully a sweet girl looked at me (I'm sure I was a sight) and I mouthed, "I need a tissue!" Duh....Lo and behold a wad of toilet paper appeared. Bless her!
We belong to a body that knows adoption. We are blessed to have crazy friends like ourselves who almost had an empty nest to only adopt and add multiple children to their family. There have been times in this journey that God's hand has been so evident and today was a shining example of how he has used people to lead the way and come along side us as we walked this road.
I might sound like a broken record, but I am reminding myself of all of these God-things. Why, you may ask? Because I know that while this road has been bumpy, long and had many different turns, THIS has been the easy part. Adoption is from God there is not a doubt in my mind. But adoption isn't easy.
My son has spent two years in the orphanage. At six weeks of age he entered Children's Shelter of Cebu a sick baby. He has been nurtured and cared for, and CSC is all he knows as home. He has seen us twice via Skype and looked at our pictures. And yet in one week, his whole life as he has ever known it will change. That's hard.
And so I pray that he will have courage. He is a fighter, hence the name Cayden. His life has been filled with sickness. But I'm praying total healing of his body and total healing of his heart. I pray that he will know that God's plan for him is great and I pray that he will supernaturally know that he is loved.
Micaela. Sweet, spunky, independent Micaela. My daughter had a rough first 3 years. She was loved, for sure, but abandonment was her companion. Trust is something that we will have to earn from her, and so I pray for many ways to prove to her that we will take care of her. I pray that she will embrace her mom and dad and sisters and she too will supernaturally know she is loved. This little girl who has a laugh that lights up a room, I pray that she will find many things to laugh at and that God will turn her sorrows into joy.
This may be a week of 'lasts' but I know a lifetime of 'firsts' is right around the corner.
Candie
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