In seven days we will be meeting our children. It seem almost surreal. We have been working towards this day since February 2013. It has seemed like an eternity but when I count the months, in reality, it hasn't been eternity. But living each month knowing that one day everything will change seems to stretch time. While some people like to put off the inevitable I don't. It's like those that want to wade in the water or those that jump in. None-the-less tonight I am full of thoughts and wish that I could be I Dream of Jeannie and 'poof' be done with this week and in the Philippines. (That would be the Jetsons added in my thoughts for transportation! I always did want to be in those time travelers.) And yet I digress....
So many times this weekend as we drove around in our mini-van....just the four of us I thought, "This ______ is the last time we will do as a family of four." The girls tried to get us to go to Starbucks because "it's the last time it's the four of us"! So while I'd like to be done with this week, on the other hand I am savoring our last days together. Just the four of us.
I love my girls. I love how they have embraced adopting and encouraged us to keep going on this journey. I love how they are each so different in what they think is the best part of having a new sister and brother. I love how they've already decided who gets which sibling. (They may be in for a surprise!) And I love (in some ways) how they are already talking about more adoptions. Sweet Abbi, with the heart for the older orphans was reminding us just tonight that we said we'd get an older girl. While they have to be reminded at times that sacrifices will be made and challenges will be had, they have been 'all in' on this ride. Their hearts make me proud. And God.
And so today was our last day at church as a family of four.
I can get emotional at times (surprised?) but I had no idea how my emotions would overcome me today. During worship I kept thinking about my new children and how they would stand with us for worship and how brave they are going to be to move to a new country and start a life with strangers. Keeping my emotions in check was challenging, and then we had prayer time and our pastor announced our leaving on Friday and reality hit. People came to pray over us for our trip and for our kids. Seriously, I lost it.
They say a Girl Scout is always prepared, and I was a Blue Bird (so close enough), but I did NOT have a Kleenex! HELLO?!?! Can you say more-than-tears-running-down-my-face? I asked Faith quietly, "Do you have a tissue?" My beaver-daughter, always prepared for everything did not have one?! Say what? Thankfully a sweet girl looked at me (I'm sure I was a sight) and I mouthed, "I need a tissue!" Duh....Lo and behold a wad of toilet paper appeared. Bless her!
We belong to a body that knows adoption. We are blessed to have crazy friends like ourselves who almost had an empty nest to only adopt and add multiple children to their family. There have been times in this journey that God's hand has been so evident and today was a shining example of how he has used people to lead the way and come along side us as we walked this road.
I might sound like a broken record, but I am reminding myself of all of these God-things. Why, you may ask? Because I know that while this road has been bumpy, long and had many different turns, THIS has been the easy part. Adoption is from God there is not a doubt in my mind. But adoption isn't easy.
My son has spent two years in the orphanage. At six weeks of age he entered Children's Shelter of Cebu a sick baby. He has been nurtured and cared for, and CSC is all he knows as home. He has seen us twice via Skype and looked at our pictures. And yet in one week, his whole life as he has ever known it will change. That's hard.
And so I pray that he will have courage. He is a fighter, hence the name Cayden. His life has been filled with sickness. But I'm praying total healing of his body and total healing of his heart. I pray that he will know that God's plan for him is great and I pray that he will supernaturally know that he is loved.
Micaela. Sweet, spunky, independent Micaela. My daughter had a rough first 3 years. She was loved, for sure, but abandonment was her companion. Trust is something that we will have to earn from her, and so I pray for many ways to prove to her that we will take care of her. I pray that she will embrace her mom and dad and sisters and she too will supernaturally know she is loved. This little girl who has a laugh that lights up a room, I pray that she will find many things to laugh at and that God will turn her sorrows into joy.
This may be a week of 'lasts' but I know a lifetime of 'firsts' is right around the corner.
Candie
Monday, July 7, 2014
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
What a Day!
There are some days that I am overcome with the knowing that God is a very good God. He is always good, it's just that some days I see Him better. Today has been one of those days. We have been waiting and waiting to book tickets and get our kids. Knowing they have had their medical appointments and visa interviews and knowing we are so very close to bringing them home has added extra excitement and a new layer of 'good stress' to our house.
We registered at Target due to the urging of co-workers and friends who want to buy things for our kids. It was never something we thought of to do and when I stood at the register and put my 'babies' in the system, I think my heart jumped a beat. Then when we walked the isles and looked at what we needed....oh boy....an overwhelmed feeling hit. As my girls have been bugging me for months to start shopping for the kids, I was the one who kept saying, "Oh stop. They just need love and food. We got this." HA! Turns out my Pollyanna attitude (whoever she is) was in denial. So when we hit the underwear isle and I was in shock because I 'forgot' the kids need underwear, it was then that the realization hit. We are bringing not one child home but two!!! Two blessings, for sure, but double the need. Double pajamas, double shoes, double clothes...... and don't even get me started on the diapers and wipes! :)
Which is why for the past week I have been waking up multiple times at night, thinking of more things we need and all the unknowns that are coming our way. At 3:00 a.m. I think of my kids in the Philippines and know that their day is 4:00 p.m. and I wonder what they are doing and I pray for them. At 4:30 a.m. I think of them and pray.....Not sure if God is preparing me for our trip to the Philippines, or if my brain just doesn't want to shut down, but either way, I'm getting extra prayer time and my heart is filling with more love for them.
Anyhow today. Let me share about my weaknesses and God's goodness.
I have been tracking airfares for a couple weeks. We have had a general idea of when we'd be traveling, but nothing official. We have had some generous donations and grants that gave us most all our travel expenses, but then last night the tickets I'd been eyeing went up $400 per ticket! I admit it. I freaked out. It is so hard not being in control and waiting for other people to decide life altering events. I knew we had money, but not the extra $1200. And so I stressed.
Then we've been trying to get an update on Abbi's passport. It should have been here 2 weeks ago. Since we are planning on buying tickets for the 11th, we need that passport. So Stacy called the government yesterday and today. Yes, it's in process. That's all they can say, but they'll have Chicago call us. No call from them. Then I called myself (as if I would get farther), for some reason Stacy gets better results normally, and I got the same answer. 2 days, 3 messages left to call us, no response. The stressor is do we buy her ticket? Hard to leave the country without a passport! And so I stressed.
I could tell Stacy was stressing too. It's happy stress, but none-the-less stress. All of a sudden it hit me. This is warfare. Satan hates adoption! Adoption is the perfect picture of Christ's love for us and our free gift he gives us. Once we choose Jesus we get an eternal family with a new name. In my head I could reason that enough to tell Stacy, but I still didn't really have peace. Ever been there? You know it, you just don't feel it?
And then a sweet kiss from Heaven came. I got a message from a dear friend who wanted me to know a gift was arriving today, I'm telling you, I cried. We call those "happy tears" in our family. Lo and behold a car seat for Micaela appeared. This journey has been so humbling. There are no words that can explain how much our friends have blessed us. Friends whom we haven't seen or worked with in years are being used by God. I know they tell us they want to be a part of this call and bless us, but I'm here to say that each time something happens like today, I hear God say, "I got this covered." I know that God has touched our friends and asked them to do something. My friend said she heard God say, "Pick something and send it." And she did! Car seat straight from God through my friend.
Composing myself I emailed our agency and tried really hard to be kind. I know that some of our wait is cultural. Filipinos are laid back. There's always tomorrow. Diana must have heard my desperation (I did mention to her that I've been lacking sleep!) because when she called she gave me the words I'd been wanting to hear....Book your flights!!!
We've been working with a travel agent who specializes in adoptions. All of our flights had us flying out of O'Hare in Chicago. Not a big deal with the exception of Faith. Faith has to stay home and she will be our chauffeur to and from. She knows Midway Airport like the back of her hand, but was freaking out about getting to O'Hare. So we had asked Jeff if there was any possibility to fly out of Midway. Sure for an extra $2000!!! What?!?! Suck it up buttercup...time to learn O'Hare. I can hear everyone now, "That's mean!" I agree. But I don't have a money tree in my backyard. Sorry.
So today Jeff says he'll see what he can find out of O'Hare and I jump on Orbitz. Guess what I find??? Flights out of Midway!!!! And guess what else??? They are cheaper than anything we've every seen!!!! I email Jeff and ask if he can get those flights? Yes, ma'am!
WOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
So in case anyone is missing this, let me explain. Today we found out we get to travel to the Philippines in 10 days! We got tickets for less than we'd ever imagined AND Faith gets to drive to Midway!!! Is God good or what?!
So I've been chewing on a lot today. It's this 16" inch connection between my brain and my heart that I've been pondering. I know God is good. Hands down, he is the best and only wants good for me. BUT how many times do I say God is good when things aren't going great? Friends, I don't want to give the impression that I only praise Him when major things happen. I think my faith is ever growing. There are still things that we will face with this adoption that I don't have answers for or have control over. But God is still good. No matter how my daughter handles her new mama (me) or how my son's health issues really turn out to be. God knows. And I'm just guessing that He has people waiting in the shadows to help when we need it.
God is good. All the time. All the time....God is good.
Candie
We registered at Target due to the urging of co-workers and friends who want to buy things for our kids. It was never something we thought of to do and when I stood at the register and put my 'babies' in the system, I think my heart jumped a beat. Then when we walked the isles and looked at what we needed....oh boy....an overwhelmed feeling hit. As my girls have been bugging me for months to start shopping for the kids, I was the one who kept saying, "Oh stop. They just need love and food. We got this." HA! Turns out my Pollyanna attitude (whoever she is) was in denial. So when we hit the underwear isle and I was in shock because I 'forgot' the kids need underwear, it was then that the realization hit. We are bringing not one child home but two!!! Two blessings, for sure, but double the need. Double pajamas, double shoes, double clothes...... and don't even get me started on the diapers and wipes! :)
Which is why for the past week I have been waking up multiple times at night, thinking of more things we need and all the unknowns that are coming our way. At 3:00 a.m. I think of my kids in the Philippines and know that their day is 4:00 p.m. and I wonder what they are doing and I pray for them. At 4:30 a.m. I think of them and pray.....Not sure if God is preparing me for our trip to the Philippines, or if my brain just doesn't want to shut down, but either way, I'm getting extra prayer time and my heart is filling with more love for them.
Anyhow today. Let me share about my weaknesses and God's goodness.
I have been tracking airfares for a couple weeks. We have had a general idea of when we'd be traveling, but nothing official. We have had some generous donations and grants that gave us most all our travel expenses, but then last night the tickets I'd been eyeing went up $400 per ticket! I admit it. I freaked out. It is so hard not being in control and waiting for other people to decide life altering events. I knew we had money, but not the extra $1200. And so I stressed.
Then we've been trying to get an update on Abbi's passport. It should have been here 2 weeks ago. Since we are planning on buying tickets for the 11th, we need that passport. So Stacy called the government yesterday and today. Yes, it's in process. That's all they can say, but they'll have Chicago call us. No call from them. Then I called myself (as if I would get farther), for some reason Stacy gets better results normally, and I got the same answer. 2 days, 3 messages left to call us, no response. The stressor is do we buy her ticket? Hard to leave the country without a passport! And so I stressed.
I could tell Stacy was stressing too. It's happy stress, but none-the-less stress. All of a sudden it hit me. This is warfare. Satan hates adoption! Adoption is the perfect picture of Christ's love for us and our free gift he gives us. Once we choose Jesus we get an eternal family with a new name. In my head I could reason that enough to tell Stacy, but I still didn't really have peace. Ever been there? You know it, you just don't feel it?
And then a sweet kiss from Heaven came. I got a message from a dear friend who wanted me to know a gift was arriving today, I'm telling you, I cried. We call those "happy tears" in our family. Lo and behold a car seat for Micaela appeared. This journey has been so humbling. There are no words that can explain how much our friends have blessed us. Friends whom we haven't seen or worked with in years are being used by God. I know they tell us they want to be a part of this call and bless us, but I'm here to say that each time something happens like today, I hear God say, "I got this covered." I know that God has touched our friends and asked them to do something. My friend said she heard God say, "Pick something and send it." And she did! Car seat straight from God through my friend.
Composing myself I emailed our agency and tried really hard to be kind. I know that some of our wait is cultural. Filipinos are laid back. There's always tomorrow. Diana must have heard my desperation (I did mention to her that I've been lacking sleep!) because when she called she gave me the words I'd been wanting to hear....Book your flights!!!
We've been working with a travel agent who specializes in adoptions. All of our flights had us flying out of O'Hare in Chicago. Not a big deal with the exception of Faith. Faith has to stay home and she will be our chauffeur to and from. She knows Midway Airport like the back of her hand, but was freaking out about getting to O'Hare. So we had asked Jeff if there was any possibility to fly out of Midway. Sure for an extra $2000!!! What?!?! Suck it up buttercup...time to learn O'Hare. I can hear everyone now, "That's mean!" I agree. But I don't have a money tree in my backyard. Sorry.
So today Jeff says he'll see what he can find out of O'Hare and I jump on Orbitz. Guess what I find??? Flights out of Midway!!!! And guess what else??? They are cheaper than anything we've every seen!!!! I email Jeff and ask if he can get those flights? Yes, ma'am!
WOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
So in case anyone is missing this, let me explain. Today we found out we get to travel to the Philippines in 10 days! We got tickets for less than we'd ever imagined AND Faith gets to drive to Midway!!! Is God good or what?!
So I've been chewing on a lot today. It's this 16" inch connection between my brain and my heart that I've been pondering. I know God is good. Hands down, he is the best and only wants good for me. BUT how many times do I say God is good when things aren't going great? Friends, I don't want to give the impression that I only praise Him when major things happen. I think my faith is ever growing. There are still things that we will face with this adoption that I don't have answers for or have control over. But God is still good. No matter how my daughter handles her new mama (me) or how my son's health issues really turn out to be. God knows. And I'm just guessing that He has people waiting in the shadows to help when we need it.
God is good. All the time. All the time....God is good.
Candie
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