Unexpected Phone Call

Our passports arrived!  I guess my multiple names growing up didn't become an issue!

To date we have gotten our home study into the State of Illinois.  We are one of two states in the nation that require the government to approve of our desire to adopt.  How's that for fun? We are hoping to have an approval at the end of the week so we can apply to immigration to get their o.k. to travel and bring home one or two children. Once that is approved (up to 8 weeks time) THEN we get to send our dossier to the Philippines.  We have decided not to request any more children until our full file is in their hands.  It's kind of exciting, because things are starting to move.  Paperwork is filled out just waiting for approvals.  We also get to have psychological exams, and maybe even an IQ test!  My friend and I joked that at 46 years of age maybe the exams are to prove we are crazy to adopt multiple children from another country!!  HA!!!  Just kidding.....:)

So here we are cruising along, thinking of nothing important.  We're enjoying our summer weather and hitting the pool often.  Oh, that's kind of a funny story to mention.

The other night at the pool Stacy asked Faith and I if we'd been thinking about what it's going to be like next year (Lord willing) to be at the pool with more siblings?  He was so funny because he didn't want to offend our oldest daughter by suggesting it would be more fun with MORE daughters (or sons).  Faith and I just looked at each other and laughed.  Who is this man that keeps dreaming about more and more children?  Isn't that a chick thing to do?  We are continually amazed at how God has put a passion in our husband and father.

Then out of the blue I got a phone call from Michelle.

She just wanted to let me know that she doesn't have all the information, but evidently the Philippine government has requested to look at our file again.  For guess who?  The girls we were just told had been given to another family 8 days ago!

Now before we all have a party, there is another family they are considering for the girls.  She told us she would call us as soon as she found out more information.  

This is highly unusual.  This is adoption.   And as I type this I realize I am at total peace.   

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."  John 14:27

For our family tonight we are asking God, "Are these girls ours?"

Only time will tell, but I thought it fitting to document it.  Just in case.  

Candie

Did I Say We Were Going to China?

The "ink" had barely dried on the last post when literally the next day I saw that our agency was advocating for two sisters, ages 8 and 5.....from the Philippines.  Honestly, my first thought went something like this, "Oh CRAP, what if those were supposed to be OUR girls?"  

I said we were going to China, right?  

Do you feel a U-turn coming up?

I tried to play it cool that night when the family was home and nonchalantly told them that Madison was advocating for two girls.  And I left it at that.  We had made a decision, we were going to China.

But the next day I still had this nagging feeling.  I texted Stacy, "Do you think we moved to China too soon?  What if these are our girls?" 

His response: "I was thinking the same thing."  

Super.  Great.  I just blogged about going to China!!  

So I emailed our liaison at the agency and said, "Don't kill me.....could we look at the girl's file?"  

Do you remember we JUST finalized our home study that week?  China, boy 0-3, girl 0-10.  

Michelle, being so sweet as she is, said that people change their minds all the time.  No problem.  Our caseworker's response when we asked, "Could you hold off for a couple days sending the final report in?" was, "Wow, you guys are on a roller coaster."  

Weee......(I hope you can hear my sarcasm!)

We saw the girls and fell in love (again).  One thing I know, our capacity for love is enormous.  And yet it's just a fraction of our Father love.  Pretty cool to think about.

Here's one of the hard parts about Fillipinos: they are on their own slow timeline compared to us Americans.  So the wait began.  And two weeks passed.  During this time we were tempted to not fall in love and think about how the girls would fit in.  But then we decided that IF these were the girls, how cool would it be to say, we fell in love with you the first time we saw you?!   We looked up their names (which we liked) and found out they meant "Messenger of God" and "Gift from God".   We put their pictures on our screen savers and prayed for them when we saw them.  

Lord, please let them be ours.

So we waited, and prayed, and waited some more.....

Then we found out that even though the government called and asked our agency to find a home for the girls, they gave them to another family!!!!!

NO WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!NOT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We deleted their pictures off our screen savers (which we've done 3 times now for 3 sister-groups) and we added two more girls to our prayer list that their new forever families would love them like we would have.    

What was the lesson for these two weeks?  For one, we realized that our hearts are in the Philippines, not China.  We love the kids in China and believe one day we'll go there, but for now, when we think about picking up kiddos and bringing them home, we see Philippines.  Secondly, (as if this is a new learned lesson) we know that God has planned from the beginning of time who is to be ours.  He puts governments in place and he is big enough to put our family together.  

Adoption is a step-by-step, day-by-day journey.  The cool thing is that even though we feel we've had a set-back, I still have JOY.  God is so good!

Candie

Changing Directions

According to my girls, last nights post was exceedingly negative.  One of them even suggested no one would want to read another post!  So if you had the courage to come back and read this post, I hope to be of some encouragement to YOU.  See here's the thing.  I'm a very REAL person.  I don't do fake.  I don't like to read between the lines.  I think people should just say what they mean and mean what they say.  Life would be SO much easier if people took my advice!  Then all of these pretend ideas that life is rosy and all rainbows and giggles could be put to rest.  In case you don't know, (brace yourself) sometimes God asks us to do very hard things and not always will we feel rosy, and full of giggles.  Anyhow, I'm on a bunny trail....

After four months of 'detours' Stacy and I were beginning to think we needed a new game plan.  It was so easy to run down this road, or go down another road, and honestly we felt led in every one of those situations.  But I certainly had lost joy in the process.  Some people I know grin and bear stacks of paperwork, and unnecessary parent training and jump through hoops and 'stick' their landing with a smile.  Not me. 

If I had a dollar for every time I've said, "You're kidding, right?" I could have paid to bring an orphanage home.  Like when I was getting fingerprinted, which by the way you have to do TWICE.  Yep, you're kidding, right?  Fingerprints never change!  Anyhow, the guy says to me, "We seem to have a problem with your pinky and ring finger.  Those prints wear off the fastest.  Do you do a lot of dishes?"  You're kidding me, right?  EVERYDAY!  (Maybe Stacy should start washing and I'll do the drying!)

Or the time we applied for our passports, which last for 10 years and the guy looked at our emergency contact names which happened to be each other and told us that wouldn't work because we'd be traveling together.  You're kidding, right??!!  I know, doesn't sound like a big deal, however, to me, it is.  But here's what I realized: I tend to get stuck on little details that don't really matter.  Their joy-suckers. 

So here we were at a crossroad.  Our homestudy was about to be done and we had to choose a country to adopt from.  We had no idea this was required and because we have been totally open to God's leading we were having a very difficult time making this decision. 

It was at this time we went back to our original call to adopt and we looked at God's visions and dreams he had given us and others for us which included:

1.  Before we started our fast I was looking for Daniel Fast ideas and 'happened' across a blogger who writes this blog: http://nihaoyall.com/  She has adopted seven children with special needs from China. 

2.  A friend of ours had a dream of me changing an Asian baby girl and saying, "I'm too old to be doing this!"

3.  A picture I've always had in my head is of our family, much larger, and very ethnically diverse.

4.  Watching The Little Couple as they adopted their son Will from China.  (And dare I say are hearts are open to a son?)

5.  As our family prayed together I had a picture as clear as day of me squatting down with my arm around a boy at an orphanage and he had two friends, a boy and a girl with him.  I looked at them and said, "We'll be back to get you.  Promise." 

And so it is that tonight, as we finalized our homestudy, I can tell you we are going to China.  After much deliberation, consternation and prayer we are being approved for a boy age 0-3 or a girl age 0-10. We are approved for two children, however we plan to bring one home first and go back in a year for another.  I laugh as I type that because plans change....doors open and doors close.  And if you've ever looked at waiting children on the Internet you'd understand that it would be really easy to fall in love with two faces and want to bring them both home!  We'll see....

My personal hope is that I can find joy in this process.  And patience.  And wisdom.  And peace. 

But I serve a faithful God.  How do I know?  Today when I checked my email I found this quote:

"Until God opens the next door, praise him in the hallway." 

How fitting!  Right now I'm in the hallway and I will find joy when I praise God for who he is.  For his perfect plan and timing.  For his perfect provision.

So tonight I leave you with the same encouragement He has given me.  Despite your circumstances, praise God for WHO he is.  Put on some great worship music and lose yourself in HIM.  Then come back and tell me how soon your joy appeared. :)

Candie