According to my girls, last nights post was exceedingly negative. One of them even suggested no one would want to read another post! So if you had the courage to come back and read this post, I hope to be of some encouragement to YOU. See here's the thing. I'm a very REAL person. I don't do fake. I don't like to read between the lines. I think people should just say what they mean and mean what they say. Life would be SO much easier if people took my advice! Then all of these pretend ideas that life is rosy and all rainbows and giggles could be put to rest. In case you don't know, (brace yourself) sometimes God asks us to do very hard things and not always will we feel rosy, and full of giggles. Anyhow, I'm on a bunny trail....
After four months of 'detours' Stacy and I were beginning to think we needed a new game plan. It was so easy to run down this road, or go down another road, and honestly we felt led in every one of those situations. But I certainly had lost joy in the process. Some people I know grin and bear stacks of paperwork, and unnecessary parent training and jump through hoops and 'stick' their landing with a smile. Not me.
If I had a dollar for every time I've said, "You're kidding, right?" I could have paid to bring an orphanage home. Like when I was getting fingerprinted, which by the way you have to do TWICE. Yep, you're kidding, right? Fingerprints never change! Anyhow, the guy says to me, "We seem to have a problem with your pinky and ring finger. Those prints wear off the fastest. Do you do a lot of dishes?" You're kidding me, right? EVERYDAY! (Maybe Stacy should start washing and I'll do the drying!)
Or the time we applied for our passports, which last for 10 years and the guy looked at our emergency contact names which happened to be each other and told us that wouldn't work because we'd be traveling together. You're kidding, right??!! I know, doesn't sound like a big deal, however, to me, it is. But here's what I realized: I tend to get stuck on little details that don't really matter. Their joy-suckers.
So here we were at a crossroad. Our homestudy was about to be done and we had to choose a country to adopt from. We had no idea this was required and because we have been totally open to God's leading we were having a very difficult time making this decision.
It was at this time we went back to our original call to adopt and we looked at God's visions and dreams he had given us and others for us which included:
1. Before we started our fast I was looking for Daniel Fast ideas and 'happened' across a blogger who writes this blog: http://nihaoyall.com/ She has adopted seven children with special needs from China.
2. A friend of ours had a dream of me changing an Asian baby girl and saying, "I'm too old to be doing this!"
3. A picture I've always had in my head is of our family, much larger, and very ethnically diverse.
4. Watching The Little Couple as they adopted their son Will from China. (And dare I say are hearts are open to a son?)
5. As our family prayed together I had a picture as clear as day of me squatting down with my arm around a boy at an orphanage and he had two friends, a boy and a girl with him. I looked at them and said, "We'll be back to get you. Promise."
And so it is that tonight, as we finalized our homestudy, I can tell you we are going to China. After much deliberation, consternation and prayer we are being approved for a boy age 0-3 or a girl age 0-10. We are approved for two children, however we plan to bring one home first and go back in a year for another. I laugh as I type that because plans change....doors open and doors close. And if you've ever looked at waiting children on the Internet you'd understand that it would be really easy to fall in love with two faces and want to bring them both home! We'll see....
My personal hope is that I can find joy in this process. And patience. And wisdom. And peace.
But I serve a faithful God. How do I know? Today when I checked my email I found this quote:
"Until God opens the next door, praise him in the hallway."
How fitting! Right now I'm in the hallway and I will find joy when I praise God for who he is. For his perfect plan and timing. For his perfect provision.
So tonight I leave you with the same encouragement He has given me. Despite your circumstances, praise God for WHO he is. Put on some great worship music and lose yourself in HIM. Then come back and tell me how soon your joy appeared. :)
Candie
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