Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Changing Directions

According to my girls, last nights post was exceedingly negative.  One of them even suggested no one would want to read another post!  So if you had the courage to come back and read this post, I hope to be of some encouragement to YOU.  See here's the thing.  I'm a very REAL person.  I don't do fake.  I don't like to read between the lines.  I think people should just say what they mean and mean what they say.  Life would be SO much easier if people took my advice!  Then all of these pretend ideas that life is rosy and all rainbows and giggles could be put to rest.  In case you don't know, (brace yourself) sometimes God asks us to do very hard things and not always will we feel rosy, and full of giggles.  Anyhow, I'm on a bunny trail....

After four months of 'detours' Stacy and I were beginning to think we needed a new game plan.  It was so easy to run down this road, or go down another road, and honestly we felt led in every one of those situations.  But I certainly had lost joy in the process.  Some people I know grin and bear stacks of paperwork, and unnecessary parent training and jump through hoops and 'stick' their landing with a smile.  Not me. 

If I had a dollar for every time I've said, "You're kidding, right?" I could have paid to bring an orphanage home.  Like when I was getting fingerprinted, which by the way you have to do TWICE.  Yep, you're kidding, right?  Fingerprints never change!  Anyhow, the guy says to me, "We seem to have a problem with your pinky and ring finger.  Those prints wear off the fastest.  Do you do a lot of dishes?"  You're kidding me, right?  EVERYDAY!  (Maybe Stacy should start washing and I'll do the drying!)

Or the time we applied for our passports, which last for 10 years and the guy looked at our emergency contact names which happened to be each other and told us that wouldn't work because we'd be traveling together.  You're kidding, right??!!  I know, doesn't sound like a big deal, however, to me, it is.  But here's what I realized: I tend to get stuck on little details that don't really matter.  Their joy-suckers. 

So here we were at a crossroad.  Our homestudy was about to be done and we had to choose a country to adopt from.  We had no idea this was required and because we have been totally open to God's leading we were having a very difficult time making this decision. 

It was at this time we went back to our original call to adopt and we looked at God's visions and dreams he had given us and others for us which included:

1.  Before we started our fast I was looking for Daniel Fast ideas and 'happened' across a blogger who writes this blog: http://nihaoyall.com/  She has adopted seven children with special needs from China. 

2.  A friend of ours had a dream of me changing an Asian baby girl and saying, "I'm too old to be doing this!"

3.  A picture I've always had in my head is of our family, much larger, and very ethnically diverse.

4.  Watching The Little Couple as they adopted their son Will from China.  (And dare I say are hearts are open to a son?)

5.  As our family prayed together I had a picture as clear as day of me squatting down with my arm around a boy at an orphanage and he had two friends, a boy and a girl with him.  I looked at them and said, "We'll be back to get you.  Promise." 

And so it is that tonight, as we finalized our homestudy, I can tell you we are going to China.  After much deliberation, consternation and prayer we are being approved for a boy age 0-3 or a girl age 0-10. We are approved for two children, however we plan to bring one home first and go back in a year for another.  I laugh as I type that because plans change....doors open and doors close.  And if you've ever looked at waiting children on the Internet you'd understand that it would be really easy to fall in love with two faces and want to bring them both home!  We'll see....

My personal hope is that I can find joy in this process.  And patience.  And wisdom.  And peace. 

But I serve a faithful God.  How do I know?  Today when I checked my email I found this quote:

"Until God opens the next door, praise him in the hallway." 

How fitting!  Right now I'm in the hallway and I will find joy when I praise God for who he is.  For his perfect plan and timing.  For his perfect provision.

So tonight I leave you with the same encouragement He has given me.  Despite your circumstances, praise God for WHO he is.  Put on some great worship music and lose yourself in HIM.  Then come back and tell me how soon your joy appeared. :)

Candie


 










Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Bumpy Roads

It's hard to believe I haven't written for almost 4 1/2 months.  I'm so sorry.  After the fast things started happening at rapid pace, and then stall and then go, and then stall....I hear this is the way of international adoption.  I'll just say up front: I'm not a fan.  (How's that for starting off on a negative note?!)

How bout I get you caught up with our adoption happenings??

Remember when I said that the adoption part was the EASY part, but the following God was the hard part?  I'm officially taking that back!  It's just all hard! (There I go being negative again.  Can you see why I haven't written?) 

Within a week of deciding to adopt, a friend of ours who is involved in orphan care told us of two girls who were needing a home.  Their names were Anne and Barb (I'm making up names as I go to protect the innocent!)  Anyhow, they were 14 and 10 with a dad who died and a mom who allowed horrible things to happen to them.  They were in foster care and needed/wanted a Christian family.  At the time the mom was expected to go to jail and her parental rights would be terminated. 

This was our first test.  I say test, because I KNOW that the road to a child or children is always full of tests.  Tests from God to see if we are listening.  Tests from God to see if we are obedient.  Tests of our faith, etc. 

Lots of questions ran through our head.  You want us to adopt older children God?  What if Anne and Abbi didn't get along?  The what-if's abound!  But we believed that we needed to walk down the road until the doors closed.  So we called the State Agency who had the girls.  Dead end.  Twice!  We soon heard the girls were placed in a lovely Christian home.  CLOSED DOOR.  And we learned that we were not cut out to work with the State Foster System.

I'm not sure I mentioned that from the beginning both Stacy and I were certain that we would be getting more than one child.  We weren't totally sure if it's to be a sibling group or multiple adoptions.  Selfishly a sibling group sounds like a "one and done" deal, but we have to remember, this is God's plan, not ours.  But we're not getting any younger, remember God? :)

To fulfill part of our training for a foster adopt license (don't even get me started on the experienced parents of 21 years, who have also adopted a child who HAVE to go to 15 hrs of parenting classes), we went to a class and met Michelle who told us she had just seen the most beautiful group of sisters who needed a home from the Philippines.  FOUR sisters.  So while we sat through the class Stacy couldn't get them off his mind.  Me, on the other hand, didn't give it another thought once I heard 4 girls.  But my husband, who wants to bring home all the orphans was not to be deterred.  He said, "We just have to hear about these girls."  I'm thinking, "ARE YOU NUTS?!  4 GIRLS?!!??"  Well, we fell in love with them and our daughters fell in love with them.  I started thinking about them when I folded laundry and wondered how it would be to have 8 sets of clothes to wash and put away.  Their names were Cheryl, Danielle, Eveyln and Francine and they were 14, 11, 8 and 4.  Our agency had reserved these girls which means that only our agency could find a family for them.  This was a done deal, for sure.  We frantically started our paperwork and submitted it to the Filipino government who much to our agency's surprise had given the girls to another family from another agency!!!  Seriously?! 

But you know what I love about God?  He knows who is to be ours and he knows what's best for us, and he has a perfect plan.  So while we were disappointed, we could rejoice that the girls got a forever family sooner than we could get them and we could praise God for his sovereignty.  We also added 4 more girls to our list of kids to pray for. 

Almost as soon as we heard about the girls my girlfriend from Washington called to tell me about a brother and sister she knew of who most likely were going to need a home.  Their mom has terminal cancer and the dad most likely will not parent them.  They are 6 and 3.  Let's see, we'll call them Greg and Hannah.  All of us started planning for these kiddos and we started dreaming of how we would get to go back to Washington and how all our friends and family would get to see our newest addition.... It just seemed so perfect.  But it didn't happen.  We have started to learn that our family has big hearts that will love any orphan(s) God puts our way.

Then we get a call from our agency about two sisters, Ivy and Julie who are 8 and 6.  Ivy has my birthday and Julie's birthday is one week before Stacy's birthday.  Michelle was certain these girls would be ours.  She believes that sometimes God shows you who is to be yours by a simple thing like an important date.  Another letter is sent to the government and we wait, and wait, and find out the government is on holiday for a week or so, and wait some more.  And then we hear the news:  They gave them to someone else who was farther along in the paperwork process.  Seriously?  This is starting to get OLD.  The fun and excitement is waning. 

God, what are we missing?

So by the third month we have had 2 "for sure sibling groups" fall through, one really ideal situation fall through and then we hear about a pregnant mom locally.  While we have always had a heart from domestic adoption we haven't been thinking we wanted a newborn.  It may sound weird but besides the fact that newborns wake up often in the middle of the night, we know there are so many women who haven't been able to hold their own newborn in their arms, and we feel like we've been blessed with two newborns already.  BUT when God opens a door, you gotta walk through it.  So we talked with the doctor a few times and really felt like this birthmom was not ready to make a commitment.  She has a one year old daughter and the child she is carrying has the same father.  There were some serious doubts that in the end she would not relinquish her child.  And that's her right.  But we just felt like God was saying no. 

Some would say, "Why would God say no if he opened the door?"  To that question I would reply that I believe He want to see if we'll walk with him.  Sometimes the road doesn't even look like one you want to be on, but for us, if we believe God is leading, we'll follow.  He does know best, that is the comfort I have tonight as I write this.  So far there have been a lot of detours, and the travel has made me weary.  Lots of highs and lots of lows, yet through it all I know that His plan is perfect.   I know that before the beginning of time He knew who would be a Shipman.  He knew

So where does that leave us?  Check back tomorrow and I'll finish getting you caught up. :)

Candie