It's hard to believe I haven't written for almost 4 1/2 months. I'm so sorry. After the fast things started happening at rapid pace, and then stall and then go, and then stall....I hear this is the way of international adoption. I'll just say up front: I'm not a fan. (How's that for starting off on a negative note?!)
How bout I get you caught up with our adoption happenings??
Remember when I said that the adoption part was the EASY part, but the following God was the hard part? I'm officially taking that back! It's just all hard! (There I go being negative again. Can you see why I haven't written?)
Within a week of deciding to adopt, a friend of ours who is involved in orphan care told us of two girls who were needing a home. Their names were Anne and Barb (I'm making up names as I go to protect the innocent!) Anyhow, they were 14 and 10 with a dad who died and a mom who allowed horrible things to happen to them. They were in foster care and needed/wanted a Christian family. At the time the mom was expected to go to jail and her parental rights would be terminated.
This was our first test. I say test, because I KNOW that the road to a child or children is always full of tests. Tests from God to see if we are listening. Tests from God to see if we are obedient. Tests of our faith, etc.
Lots of questions ran through our head. You want us to adopt older children God? What if Anne and Abbi didn't get along? The what-if's abound! But we believed that we needed to walk down the road until the doors closed. So we called the State Agency who had the girls. Dead end. Twice! We soon heard the girls were placed in a lovely Christian home. CLOSED DOOR. And we learned that we were not cut out to work with the State Foster System.
I'm not sure I mentioned that from the beginning both Stacy and I were certain that we would be getting more than one child. We weren't totally sure if it's to be a sibling group or multiple adoptions. Selfishly a sibling group sounds like a "one and done" deal, but we have to remember, this is God's plan, not ours. But we're not getting any younger, remember God? :)
To fulfill part of our training for a foster adopt license (don't even get me started on the experienced parents of 21 years, who have also adopted a child who HAVE to go to 15 hrs of parenting classes), we went to a class and met Michelle who told us she had just seen the most beautiful group of sisters who needed a home from the Philippines. FOUR sisters. So while we sat through the class Stacy couldn't get them off his mind. Me, on the other hand, didn't give it another thought once I heard 4 girls. But my husband, who wants to bring home all the orphans was not to be deterred. He said, "We just have to hear about these girls." I'm thinking, "ARE YOU NUTS?! 4 GIRLS?!!??" Well, we fell in love with them and our daughters fell in love with them. I started thinking about them when I folded laundry and wondered how it would be to have 8 sets of clothes to wash and put away. Their names were Cheryl, Danielle, Eveyln and Francine and they were 14, 11, 8 and 4. Our agency had reserved these girls which means that only our agency could find a family for them. This was a done deal, for sure. We frantically started our paperwork and submitted it to the Filipino government who much to our agency's surprise had given the girls to another family from another agency!!! Seriously?!
But you know what I love about God? He knows who is to be ours and he knows what's best for us, and he has a perfect plan. So while we were disappointed, we could rejoice that the girls got a forever family sooner than we could get them and we could praise God for his sovereignty. We also added 4 more girls to our list of kids to pray for.
Almost as soon as we heard about the girls my girlfriend from Washington called to tell me about a brother and sister she knew of who most likely were going to need a home. Their mom has terminal cancer and the dad most likely will not parent them. They are 6 and 3. Let's see, we'll call them Greg and Hannah. All of us started planning for these kiddos and we started dreaming of how we would get to go back to Washington and how all our friends and family would get to see our newest addition.... It just seemed so perfect. But it didn't happen. We have started to learn that our family has big hearts that will love any orphan(s) God puts our way.
Then we get a call from our agency about two sisters, Ivy and Julie who are 8 and 6. Ivy has my birthday and Julie's birthday is one week before Stacy's birthday. Michelle was certain these girls would be ours. She believes that sometimes God shows you who is to be yours by a simple thing like an important date. Another letter is sent to the government and we wait, and wait, and find out the government is on holiday for a week or so, and wait some more. And then we hear the news: They gave them to someone else who was farther along in the paperwork process. Seriously? This is starting to get OLD. The fun and excitement is waning.
God, what are we missing?
So by the third month we have had 2 "for sure sibling groups" fall through, one really ideal situation fall through and then we hear about a pregnant mom locally. While we have always had a heart from domestic adoption we haven't been thinking we wanted a newborn. It may sound weird but besides the fact that newborns wake up often in the middle of the night, we know there are so many women who haven't been able to hold their own newborn in their arms, and we feel like we've been blessed with two newborns already. BUT when God opens a door, you gotta walk through it. So we talked with the doctor a few times and really felt like this birthmom was not ready to make a commitment. She has a one year old daughter and the child she is carrying has the same father. There were some serious doubts that in the end she would not relinquish her child. And that's her right. But we just felt like God was saying no.
Some would say, "Why would God say no if he opened the door?" To that question I would reply that I believe He want to see if we'll walk with him. Sometimes the road doesn't even look like one you want to be on, but for us, if we believe God is leading, we'll follow. He does know best, that is the comfort I have tonight as I write this. So far there have been a lot of detours, and the travel has made me weary. Lots of highs and lots of lows, yet through it all I know that His plan is perfect. I know that before the beginning of time He knew who would be a Shipman. He knew.
So where does that leave us? Check back tomorrow and I'll finish getting you caught up. :)
Candie
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